Stages of Love


 

             Stages Of Love

What we often see in Bollywood movies about love is the head -over- heels “I could die for you love” to  “..and they lived happily ever after”. But what really happens to love as it progresses. It grows and changes and looks a little bit different in every stage. Each phase can actually be explained by your brain chemistry—the hormones that get you revved up and the hormones that carry the feeling throughout your body.

 Lust: 

When you’re in the stage of lust, you feel physically attracted and drawn to the object of your affection. It is driven primarily by the hormones testosterone in men and estrogen in women. Lust occurs across species and may be part of the basic drive to find a partner to spread our genes with. 

Attraction:

In the second stage, you begin to obsess about your lover and crave their presence. Your heart races and you don’t feel like sleeping or eating. You may even get sweaty palms. You feel a surge of extra energy and excitement as you fantasize about the things you’ll do together. It is the typical I am in love feeling created by three chemicals: norepinephrine, dopamine, and serotonin. Dopamine makes things exciting and novel. Norepinephrine is responsible for the extra surge of energy and "racing heart" that you feel. Serotonin is another happy hormone that gives you a sense of well being and closeness to your partner. 

Attachment:

Attachment involves wanting to make a more lasting commitment to your loved one. This is the point at which you may move in together, get married, and/or have children. Here the dopamine goes down and gets replaced by the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin, which create the desire to bond, affiliate with, and nurture your partner. You want to cuddle and be close and share your deepest secrets with him or her. 

However, you may gradually feel monotony and boredom seeping in and miss the dopamine excitement days. 

To boost the attachment and to keep attraction alive and kicking…

Engage in activities together, go on date nights, be spontaneous , have adventures. Keeping the spontaneity alive will up your dopamine levels. 

Have regular sex, reinvent your sexual chemistry. It will give a boost to oxytocin and serotonin which in turn improve attachment, bonding and happiness.


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