Parenting in 60's

The 50s and 60s was an era of turmoil - recent independence, war with Pakistan.

As a child of the 50s and 60s, one didn't have 2 parents, it was more like 20. Families, joint, extended, not only stayed together but worked together as well. There was no television but there was plenty of drama. As far as parenting was concerned, it was extremely strict. Keeping in mind the ever-present poverty, there was an air of miserliness all around. Kids rarely received presents of any sorts.

There were strong emotional bonding in the family though. The entire family would gather over lunch and dinner. Isolation among children was unheard of. Traditional games introduced lot of useful qualities in children - patience, adjustment, focus, companionship and more..

Childhood was not all play and fun. Discipline, obedience and sincerity was expected of a child. 'To be respectful towards elders, to be honest and truthful, not be wasteful, to control one’s greed, temptations and anger and to exercise self-control were expected from ‘well brought up’ children.' ‘Spare the rod and spoil the child’ was a saying that most mothers followed. At home or in schools, a tool used in disciplining a child, was the fear of being punished. Extended family members played an important role. Any elder member of the family had the right to discipline a younger child. I can’t remember anyone complaining about this. The love and affection of the elders – aunts, uncles, grandparents – on all other occasions more than compensated the scolding for a slack in our behavior.

Elders led by example - Grandfather, father would wash their own clothes every day and punctuality was a matter of pride. Grandfather never indulged in anything beyond basic need. He never expressed excitement or disappointment in any situation. 

Traditional Indian parenting was never a ‘one to one’ approach. In most households, habits and customs were handed down from the eldest to the youngest. Arguing with the elders was a NO NO. Gender bias existed and girls were taught to be more docile and homely. 

The children were well-behaved both within their family or at school. They rarely had eating preferences and relished all sorts of fruits and vegetables. The average children fantasized about fitting into the gender roles of their parents.